Feeling Better about the Future

Well, this day has been an odd day.  Somewhat bad, work related, but then good, future related.  I will explain.

I have been a single mom for two years, this month.  There has been some great days, there have been some difficult days.  One of the things that I haven't gotten a handle on is my finances.  When I was married, we didn't live within a budget, so being on my own, a budget was not something I knew how to do.  Here's how things unfold...

Sherri, the most lovely person @ Adaptations Designs (Shout out!) has been an amazing new friend in my life.  She has also performed some magic in my home.  I told her that my ex and I had a conversation about my finances.  He suggested I see someone to get some guidance.  She said "well it's a good thing you know someone who does that".  Her husband.

So...

Today, I saw a financial Advisor (2nd shout out:  Echelon Financial Corp... Lee Schmidt) and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders!   What he said seemed like such common sense and I am so grateful that I went in a talked to him.  It will not be our last meeting on my finances.

You know the moment when something all of a sudden seems so clear after NEVER really being able to get it?  That was the moment I had today.  I have hope now for the future.  I feel like I am going to have my head out of the water and maybe, just maybe, take my kids on a real vacation.

So here is what I know.   You need to be open minded about change.  My life has completely turned around in the last two years.  I am now friends with my husband (not ex yet), although I am single.  I miss my kids every time they go with their dad, but I appreciate the break.  I have found that you can't go through what I (and many) have gone through, without the support of your friends.

I am grateful for her and my new friends.

I have always been grateful for my friends who have been constants in my life, in the good and bad times.

It is clear I am not a pro blogger like some of my Twitter friends, but I like to write down my thoughts, what I am lucky to have, and sometimes, complain about the crap handed to me.  So if you read this, bear with my form of a blog!  I don't even know if it is socially appropriate to do shout outs to my new friends!

After two glasses of wine, a movie and a blog, I am feeling exhausted.  Good night all.

Can't sleep.

What happens when you have too much on the brain and you can't sleep? You either do laundry, but there's a risk you will wake up your kids, or you blog.


As I sit here with my brain going constantly about one thing and another. I am wondering how you become the single mom who is organized, tidy, kind and not financially tapped every month?  I don't know.  I question how I am as a mother, almost everyday.  When the kids go to bed and the house is quiet, that is when the self-reflection begins.  I should have, I could have, next time I will... I am sure these thoughts are partially why I don't sleep great.


For example, I have been TRYING to get my house in order (something I have never really been good at), but I constantly have big goals!  I always say, "I am so tired of the house being messy..."  Yet, you get one room de-cluttered, to find another totally out of control.  I am painting parts of the interior of my house and at the same time, clean out the room I am painting.


As well as painting, I am a bookkeeper with my own business I run out of my house.  This is the part, where I am trying to get out of the financial hole I seemed to dig myself into!   I am in the middle of year end for one of my clients.  This means, I cannot clean or organize or paint all day. This also means, sometimes, I am too mentally done by the end of the day to clean or organize or paint.  But work, I must!


I am not a great time manager, but I am learning.  One thing I have had to remind myself is that work has to come second to my kids.  When they go with their dad, I miss them.  Don't get me wrong, the forced break is good for my brain sometimes, but it is always too quiet when they are not in the house.


When they come home, I am constantly reminding myself to STOP and look at them when they are talking to me, STOP and look at the pictures they drew for me.  I decided the other day to start reading stories to my boys (7 & 10) before bed.  I stopped at some point, because I didn't let myself enjoy it.  I was always focused on getting them to bed.


Well I can tell you, this has been one of my better parenting decisions.  Not only am I stopping to sit with my boys, but they snuggle in on either side of me and listen as I read.  I am loving it!  


I would love to sit and read with my daughter (13),  but I am not sure she would enjoy that?  We end up watching t.v. together after the boys go to bed.  Not quite the same, but it is just us.


So, what are the answers?  I still don't know.  Not sure anyone really has the answer.  I am just doing the best I can everyday.  Sometimes I get an A+, sometimes I get a D.  It would be great to have a B average!