Well, I hadn't realized it had been a year since I blogged last. So very much has changed. For one, I realized I do pretty well on my own, single mom thing. I think had have a handle on that! That being said... It has been a year since finding the most wonderful man, who loves me! We do not share a house, but he has made my circle complete!
On the work front, I was able to she'd some not so great clients, and have found a client that allows me to be flexible with my sons health. Let me explain...
My 12 year old son, who is the middle of three, has been sick since 2006. On July 14th he spiked a fever of 40 degrees that stuck with him for 44 days. He was in the Stollery while they did test after test, blood infusions and ultrasounds trying to find a reason. We left the hospital with a diagnosis of "fever of unknown origin". Frustrating to say the least. Super wonderful care in the hospital, but no answers. A year of on and off fevers, lasting anywhere from two weeks to 40 days, then the joint pain started. Jump to now, we are still going through the same cycles. Fever, joint pain, headaches. The diagnosis is Systemic onset Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. He is now in grade 7. To date this school year he has been to school 11 days. For a kid who loves to learn, loves school (if only my other two could have a little more of that!), this has been difficult for him.
I therefore need someone who will allow me to work from home and care for my son.
For now, life is full. I wish everyday for Evan to get better. Although he is still a loving, sweet and amazing kid! My Julia and Logan are growing up so fast, Julia in grade 10 and Logan in grade 3, they are such wonderful kids, I am truly blessed. With my new fella Rob in my life, my circle is complete...
It's a pretty good life...
Monday 26 November 2012
Wednesday 23 November 2011
Stand up for yourself...or at least try!
Today was a very difficult day for me. This is why...
I started my bookkeeping business a little over a year ago. Starting I really didn't know what to charge or anything about running a business, as I was literally starting from scratch. I looked around a little just asking even strangers in business what I should charge. I found a number and went with it. I got two clients quite quickly, then another. Things have been going really well, going along in my daily routine.
Then this month I was asked to increase my responsibility, being in charge of the entire financial role in the company. After much deliberation, finding surveys and graphs for market pay, and asking every business owner I know, I asked for more money. Quite a bit more money, thinking "well of course there will be negotiation". WRONG!!
I got a call and was told that I was being opportunistic and that they wouldn't be willing to pay me anything more. Well, as the expression goes, I could have been knocked over with a feather. I was told that my new responsibilities are still in my job description and I basically could have made more money, just because I would be putting in more time. I have been charging under market value, and it wasn't about the bottom line, but being appreciated.
Got my pride kicked in the ass! But here's what I learned today...I stood up for myself, which for people who know me, has never been my strong suit. I knew asking for more, there was the chance that I would lose that client. I didn't expect to, but I was prepared to.
I gave notice today with my backbone in tact. I feel like I made the best decision for me right now in my life. I deserve better than I received.
So if this is a lesson for anyone, in order to create loyalty in your company, appreciate your staff. In order to make more money (and fair market pay) be prepared to make ZERO!
I started my bookkeeping business a little over a year ago. Starting I really didn't know what to charge or anything about running a business, as I was literally starting from scratch. I looked around a little just asking even strangers in business what I should charge. I found a number and went with it. I got two clients quite quickly, then another. Things have been going really well, going along in my daily routine.
Then this month I was asked to increase my responsibility, being in charge of the entire financial role in the company. After much deliberation, finding surveys and graphs for market pay, and asking every business owner I know, I asked for more money. Quite a bit more money, thinking "well of course there will be negotiation". WRONG!!
I got a call and was told that I was being opportunistic and that they wouldn't be willing to pay me anything more. Well, as the expression goes, I could have been knocked over with a feather. I was told that my new responsibilities are still in my job description and I basically could have made more money, just because I would be putting in more time. I have been charging under market value, and it wasn't about the bottom line, but being appreciated.
Got my pride kicked in the ass! But here's what I learned today...I stood up for myself, which for people who know me, has never been my strong suit. I knew asking for more, there was the chance that I would lose that client. I didn't expect to, but I was prepared to.
I gave notice today with my backbone in tact. I feel like I made the best decision for me right now in my life. I deserve better than I received.
So if this is a lesson for anyone, in order to create loyalty in your company, appreciate your staff. In order to make more money (and fair market pay) be prepared to make ZERO!
Wednesday 19 October 2011
Feeling Better about the Future
Well, this day has been an odd day. Somewhat bad, work related, but then good, future related. I will explain.
I have been a single mom for two years, this month. There has been some great days, there have been some difficult days. One of the things that I haven't gotten a handle on is my finances. When I was married, we didn't live within a budget, so being on my own, a budget was not something I knew how to do. Here's how things unfold...
Sherri, the most lovely person @ Adaptations Designs (Shout out!) has been an amazing new friend in my life. She has also performed some magic in my home. I told her that my ex and I had a conversation about my finances. He suggested I see someone to get some guidance. She said "well it's a good thing you know someone who does that". Her husband.
So...
Today, I saw a financial Advisor (2nd shout out: Echelon Financial Corp... Lee Schmidt) and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders! What he said seemed like such common sense and I am so grateful that I went in a talked to him. It will not be our last meeting on my finances.
You know the moment when something all of a sudden seems so clear after NEVER really being able to get it? That was the moment I had today. I have hope now for the future. I feel like I am going to have my head out of the water and maybe, just maybe, take my kids on a real vacation.
So here is what I know. You need to be open minded about change. My life has completely turned around in the last two years. I am now friends with my husband (not ex yet), although I am single. I miss my kids every time they go with their dad, but I appreciate the break. I have found that you can't go through what I (and many) have gone through, without the support of your friends.
I am grateful for her and my new friends.
I have always been grateful for my friends who have been constants in my life, in the good and bad times.
It is clear I am not a pro blogger like some of my Twitter friends, but I like to write down my thoughts, what I am lucky to have, and sometimes, complain about the crap handed to me. So if you read this, bear with my form of a blog! I don't even know if it is socially appropriate to do shout outs to my new friends!
After two glasses of wine, a movie and a blog, I am feeling exhausted. Good night all.
I have been a single mom for two years, this month. There has been some great days, there have been some difficult days. One of the things that I haven't gotten a handle on is my finances. When I was married, we didn't live within a budget, so being on my own, a budget was not something I knew how to do. Here's how things unfold...
Sherri, the most lovely person @ Adaptations Designs (Shout out!) has been an amazing new friend in my life. She has also performed some magic in my home. I told her that my ex and I had a conversation about my finances. He suggested I see someone to get some guidance. She said "well it's a good thing you know someone who does that". Her husband.
So...
Today, I saw a financial Advisor (2nd shout out: Echelon Financial Corp... Lee Schmidt) and I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders! What he said seemed like such common sense and I am so grateful that I went in a talked to him. It will not be our last meeting on my finances.
You know the moment when something all of a sudden seems so clear after NEVER really being able to get it? That was the moment I had today. I have hope now for the future. I feel like I am going to have my head out of the water and maybe, just maybe, take my kids on a real vacation.
So here is what I know. You need to be open minded about change. My life has completely turned around in the last two years. I am now friends with my husband (not ex yet), although I am single. I miss my kids every time they go with their dad, but I appreciate the break. I have found that you can't go through what I (and many) have gone through, without the support of your friends.
I am grateful for her and my new friends.
I have always been grateful for my friends who have been constants in my life, in the good and bad times.
It is clear I am not a pro blogger like some of my Twitter friends, but I like to write down my thoughts, what I am lucky to have, and sometimes, complain about the crap handed to me. So if you read this, bear with my form of a blog! I don't even know if it is socially appropriate to do shout outs to my new friends!
After two glasses of wine, a movie and a blog, I am feeling exhausted. Good night all.
Wednesday 5 October 2011
Can't sleep.
What happens when you have too much on the brain and you can't sleep? You either do laundry, but there's a risk you will wake up your kids, or you blog.
As I sit here with my brain going constantly about one thing and another. I am wondering how you become the single mom who is organized, tidy, kind and not financially tapped every month? I don't know. I question how I am as a mother, almost everyday. When the kids go to bed and the house is quiet, that is when the self-reflection begins. I should have, I could have, next time I will... I am sure these thoughts are partially why I don't sleep great.
For example, I have been TRYING to get my house in order (something I have never really been good at), but I constantly have big goals! I always say, "I am so tired of the house being messy..." Yet, you get one room de-cluttered, to find another totally out of control. I am painting parts of the interior of my house and at the same time, clean out the room I am painting.
As well as painting, I am a bookkeeper with my own business I run out of my house. This is the part, where I am trying to get out of the financial hole I seemed to dig myself into! I am in the middle of year end for one of my clients. This means, I cannot clean or organize or paint all day. This also means, sometimes, I am too mentally done by the end of the day to clean or organize or paint. But work, I must!
I am not a great time manager, but I am learning. One thing I have had to remind myself is that work has to come second to my kids. When they go with their dad, I miss them. Don't get me wrong, the forced break is good for my brain sometimes, but it is always too quiet when they are not in the house.
When they come home, I am constantly reminding myself to STOP and look at them when they are talking to me, STOP and look at the pictures they drew for me. I decided the other day to start reading stories to my boys (7 & 10) before bed. I stopped at some point, because I didn't let myself enjoy it. I was always focused on getting them to bed.
Well I can tell you, this has been one of my better parenting decisions. Not only am I stopping to sit with my boys, but they snuggle in on either side of me and listen as I read. I am loving it!
I would love to sit and read with my daughter (13), but I am not sure she would enjoy that? We end up watching t.v. together after the boys go to bed. Not quite the same, but it is just us.
So, what are the answers? I still don't know. Not sure anyone really has the answer. I am just doing the best I can everyday. Sometimes I get an A+, sometimes I get a D. It would be great to have a B average!
As I sit here with my brain going constantly about one thing and another. I am wondering how you become the single mom who is organized, tidy, kind and not financially tapped every month? I don't know. I question how I am as a mother, almost everyday. When the kids go to bed and the house is quiet, that is when the self-reflection begins. I should have, I could have, next time I will... I am sure these thoughts are partially why I don't sleep great.
For example, I have been TRYING to get my house in order (something I have never really been good at), but I constantly have big goals! I always say, "I am so tired of the house being messy..." Yet, you get one room de-cluttered, to find another totally out of control. I am painting parts of the interior of my house and at the same time, clean out the room I am painting.
As well as painting, I am a bookkeeper with my own business I run out of my house. This is the part, where I am trying to get out of the financial hole I seemed to dig myself into! I am in the middle of year end for one of my clients. This means, I cannot clean or organize or paint all day. This also means, sometimes, I am too mentally done by the end of the day to clean or organize or paint. But work, I must!
I am not a great time manager, but I am learning. One thing I have had to remind myself is that work has to come second to my kids. When they go with their dad, I miss them. Don't get me wrong, the forced break is good for my brain sometimes, but it is always too quiet when they are not in the house.
When they come home, I am constantly reminding myself to STOP and look at them when they are talking to me, STOP and look at the pictures they drew for me. I decided the other day to start reading stories to my boys (7 & 10) before bed. I stopped at some point, because I didn't let myself enjoy it. I was always focused on getting them to bed.
Well I can tell you, this has been one of my better parenting decisions. Not only am I stopping to sit with my boys, but they snuggle in on either side of me and listen as I read. I am loving it!
I would love to sit and read with my daughter (13), but I am not sure she would enjoy that? We end up watching t.v. together after the boys go to bed. Not quite the same, but it is just us.
So, what are the answers? I still don't know. Not sure anyone really has the answer. I am just doing the best I can everyday. Sometimes I get an A+, sometimes I get a D. It would be great to have a B average!
Saturday 6 August 2011
Revelations...
I have been alone for a week while the kids are with their dad. It has been a good week, a busy week. I have been able to visit with almost all my girlfriends during this time.
Over the last few weeks I have had conversations about how I dealt with the break up of my marriage, and how possibly, can I be friends with my ex?
This is an important question, because I have worked hard to get to this point in my life, where I have no regrets, no anger, no bitterness and I am happy. Despite the fact that I don't have a significant other in my life (I'm ready, different story), I am content.
My ex has moved on and now living with his girlfriend, they seem happy. I have no bad feelings about any of it. He is happy, which in turn means nicer and easier to get along with. She is kind to my children and they really like her. This brings me peace. The alternative could be so bad...
There are things I strongly believe in. One, things absolutely happen for a reason. Two, what you put out into the world, you will get back (karma!!). I think these two beliefs have gotten me through every hard time I have every had to deal with.
My kids bring me joy everyday. They fight everyday. Seems like a crazy reality, as I am sure every parent would agree. When they give you a hug, or say "I love you mommy", all the bad washes away.
So how can I complain about my life. I can't. I do vent, when I need too. I can wish my business made more money, but all in all, I am blessed.
Over the last few weeks I have had conversations about how I dealt with the break up of my marriage, and how possibly, can I be friends with my ex?
This is an important question, because I have worked hard to get to this point in my life, where I have no regrets, no anger, no bitterness and I am happy. Despite the fact that I don't have a significant other in my life (I'm ready, different story), I am content.
My ex has moved on and now living with his girlfriend, they seem happy. I have no bad feelings about any of it. He is happy, which in turn means nicer and easier to get along with. She is kind to my children and they really like her. This brings me peace. The alternative could be so bad...
There are things I strongly believe in. One, things absolutely happen for a reason. Two, what you put out into the world, you will get back (karma!!). I think these two beliefs have gotten me through every hard time I have every had to deal with.
My kids bring me joy everyday. They fight everyday. Seems like a crazy reality, as I am sure every parent would agree. When they give you a hug, or say "I love you mommy", all the bad washes away.
So how can I complain about my life. I can't. I do vent, when I need too. I can wish my business made more money, but all in all, I am blessed.
Saturday 30 July 2011
Kids are gone for a week.... sniff sniff :(
Well my kids just left to go with their dad for a week. I had tears that I was not expecting. I am a mom who dearly loves her children, but has learned to really appreciate the silence of the breaks.
This is the first time that I will be without the kids in my home for longer than a couple of days. Last year when they went with their dad, the kids didn't go anywhere, unlike this time, they are leaving the country. Last year on my week away from the kids, I saw them for about 12 hours over a few days. There wasn't an emptiness when they were gone.
So now what DO I do with 8 days to myself?? Well, plan number one, go for dinner with my Dad, then over to a friends for drinks. Tomorrow a very long walk with a girlfriend in the river valley.
That sounds like a good start.
So I will take this week and enjoy the break and so look forward to the FaceTime conversations I will get to have with my kids while they are away.
I will also listen to my music loud, if I want to, sleep in, go out for walks, go for drinks and basically do what ever I please...without having to worry about anyone, other than me and my dog!
This is the first time that I will be without the kids in my home for longer than a couple of days. Last year when they went with their dad, the kids didn't go anywhere, unlike this time, they are leaving the country. Last year on my week away from the kids, I saw them for about 12 hours over a few days. There wasn't an emptiness when they were gone.
So now what DO I do with 8 days to myself?? Well, plan number one, go for dinner with my Dad, then over to a friends for drinks. Tomorrow a very long walk with a girlfriend in the river valley.
That sounds like a good start.
So I will take this week and enjoy the break and so look forward to the FaceTime conversations I will get to have with my kids while they are away.
I will also listen to my music loud, if I want to, sleep in, go out for walks, go for drinks and basically do what ever I please...without having to worry about anyone, other than me and my dog!
Thursday 28 July 2011
Life is Good
I am sitting here watching my boys play Plants vs. Zombies on xBox. They are talking in a code language, I'm sure, because I can't understand half of what they are saying.
This makes me happy.
Life gets so busy, that sometimes you forget to appreciate these silly moments.
Things as simple as listening to my boys, having my music on, and having a glass of wine. Life couldn't get much better. Having my daughter home would add to my smiles. Being an early teenager, she has been hanging with a girlfriend all day.
I am blessed to be able to appreciate the good in my life. I have had, as I'm sure many people have had, negative things happen in my life. Brother passing, divorce, something traumatic as a child (blocking that), yet still life is good. Here's why.
I now have a good relationship with the father of my children. He is a wonderful man who has found someone who makes him happy. Despite the fact that I miss my brother all the time, I know that he is hanging around in a good place. I appreciate all that I am given. I have my three kids with me, happy, and ready to give Mommy a hug at anytime! Can't get better than that!
This makes me happy.
Life gets so busy, that sometimes you forget to appreciate these silly moments.
Things as simple as listening to my boys, having my music on, and having a glass of wine. Life couldn't get much better. Having my daughter home would add to my smiles. Being an early teenager, she has been hanging with a girlfriend all day.
I am blessed to be able to appreciate the good in my life. I have had, as I'm sure many people have had, negative things happen in my life. Brother passing, divorce, something traumatic as a child (blocking that), yet still life is good. Here's why.
I now have a good relationship with the father of my children. He is a wonderful man who has found someone who makes him happy. Despite the fact that I miss my brother all the time, I know that he is hanging around in a good place. I appreciate all that I am given. I have my three kids with me, happy, and ready to give Mommy a hug at anytime! Can't get better than that!
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